There are many decisions in life that some consider brave, such as skydiving, rock climbing, or bungee jumping, but I personally believe that the bravest decision a human being can make in life is marriage. Here are some reasons why I respect any soul who jumps into the “I do” situation:
1. Divorce rates seem to be approaching the 50% mark these days, so you’re truly living on the edge with this gamble.
2. All of the people I’ve met in life (including friends and family) are divorced or were divorced at some point…OR come from a divorced family. Think about it.
3. I can barely take care of myself, so I can’t imagine taking care of someone else for the next few decades….. (Well at least I admit it)
4. People getting married realize that they will lose all sense of fashion or even get dressed by their spouse.
5. Getting married means you often start shopping at places you would not regularly be seen dead in and you say really stupid stuff like “oh, that’s our favorite restaurant”.
6. You now have to answer to someone else when you want to go anywhere or see your friends or do anything at all. WHAT IS THAT?
7. You have another routine on top of the normal routine that you have worked all your pointless life to master.
8. Forever is a long time. (Use your imagination on this one)
In Summary: Good luck. But seriously kids, as sarcastic as it comes across, I do wish you the best. You are the bravest person on the planet if you get married, so never forget that.
Are you sick of being average and always fitting in with the rest of this boring society? Try these tips on for size the next time you’re in public and you’ll be sure to start getting some attention….finally. Oh, and it’s only funny if you do these things with a serious face as if there is nothing wrong.
1. Wear tighty whitey underwear on the outside of your pants (I don’t mean just guys, girls too)
2. When strolling down the street, put a dog harness on a wild rabbit & walk it around town. (make sure you have a dead serious face of course)
3. When pumping gas, jump on the hood of your car and start doing the robot while simultaneously yelling out the amount of gallons that you’ve paid for.
4. When your co-workers ask you a question, just respond by hissing back at them like a cat.
5. Wear a giant watch on your forehead with a sticker of your face on it.
I’m sick of being expected to do the daily norms in society. In all of our human interactions and responses, we’re expected to act a certain way and follow the formalities. It is for this reason that I propose that instead of using the “shh” sound when wanting someone to be quiet, that we start hissing instead. Hissing as in the way cats do it. That would be pretty interesting and funny. Let’s do it. Who’s with me?
Every day I realize how money owns me. 95% of the things I do are directly as a result of money. It makes me say or do things that I would not naturally say or do. It makes me want things that I honestly really do not care about. And it makes me value a future that I do not necessarily need or really desire in my heart. It makes me pursue careers or talents that I really don’t have any care for. Now the reality is that this is just life, but it is an interesting reality. All these years I thought that money was obtainable, but the truth is that we are obtainable for money, and we will say or do just about anything to please it.
I think it’s pretty funny that we actually believe our accomplishments and salaries actually mean anything. We are in fact pretty insignificant and forget that we can lose things in the blink of an eye. And without the concept of compassion and giving, we are truly NOTHING. If it were not for family, friends, loved ones, or even strangers around us who constantly give us something whether it be time, money, assistance, advice, etc… we would literally have and be nothing. Life is not all about talents, status, cash flow, fashion, or how well you can do things, but is more about how much we are willing to GIVE to others. Especially when are so blessed ourselves. Wake up.
I found this photo around the web and they claim it is a bootleg Starbucks coffe shop somewhere in Indonesia. If anyone knows the exact location, let me know because I wanna go. This is awesome.
The sad thing about this is that Americans would still walk in this place and ask for a “tall hot mocha java latte with skim soy milk and ginger spice on the side”.
Posted by egoassassin 
Posted by egoassassin 
Posted by egoassassin 
I’m sick of being expected to do the daily norms in society. In all of our human interactions and responses, we’re expected to act a certain way and follow the formalities. It is for this reason that I propose that instead of using the “shh” sound when wanting someone to be quiet, that we start hissing instead. Hissing as in the way cats do it. That would be pretty interesting and funny. Let’s do it. Who’s with me?
Subscribe via RSS Feeds
